I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and amongst the different and many topics we talked about, our mothers came up. There’s something about African mothers from back then that needs to be studied. 

Yoh! What a generation of abazali.

I don’t know if you were raised by the same crop of mothers but the type I’m talking about? Out of this world! They talked the same way and talked for the same things. All our mothers sounded the same. Same sayings. Same threats. Same dramatic reactions.

But it’s times like now when we sit and laugh about it with friends. There’s weirdly comfort in realizing that we were all raised by the same mothers in different houses.

If you didn’t experience this type of a mom, read through for a picture. 

Waking up late was like a mystery to them, something unthinkable; because why is a girl child waking up ilanga selingena ez’bunu? And the famous “yikho ozakwenza emendweni khonokhu?” Hawu mzali, forbid a girl wants to rest. 

Okay, now I’m up but the way I’m cleaning is not it. “Qinisa isandla leso. Ngifuna iFloor yonaleyo icazimula. Umkhono awuqine.” Didn’t help that back then (yes, I’m that old) the floors were the type that needed cobra…you remember the process of applying cobra and then having to shine it? No? 🥹

So now after all that cleaning, scrubbing and shining the floors, baby girl deserves a cold glass of juice. Except, you didn’t just drink juice. Mazoe? Drink Mazoe like your parents work at Schweppes? “iMazoe engiyithenge last week singaka? Asazi lizathwalani eskolo hant libona ngani lihlakaniphile” and best believe after that the 2litre juice bottle is being taken to the bedroom. Njani mzali? 

And the famous, “bulala vele hant uyathenga wena amaGlass.” Can’t even make a mistake to break a glass or drop a pot lid, “iiiii suzondele ukuthi ngithe gezisa imganu!” 

Couldn’t even Sbwl anything and not be hit by a “udubo lwaziwa ngumnikazi Fi. Okunye lawe khuthwa mtanam” only for her to then bring it a few days later because regardless of that intimidation? Those moms loved hard. 

Our mothers may not have always been soft, emotionally expressive or gentle in the way parenting is encouraged today, but they showed up. They sacrificed. They protected.

Back then, their strictness felt excessive. It felt like they didn’t want us to know peace. But now that we’re older, we can see that a lot of it came from wanting to raise respectful, responsible children in the best way they knew how. And for that time, that kind of parenting made sense, I guess, eyy lam angaz bafethu 😂

Today, parenting looks different. Many of us want softer, more open relationships with our children. We communicate more, explain more, and try to create safer emotional spaces. Not because our mothers failed, but because every generation learns and evolves from the one before it. We even say sorry to toddlers, ngani lathi sesawa, jokes!

But we can’t ignore the dark humour those women gave us, because why are you calling me iSascam?

Shout out to that generation of moms, who threatened us daily, but loved us with everything they had.

Love & light 🧡