There’s something deeply frustrating about realizing that the feelings that consumed you so heavily inside suddenly sound “dramatic” or “small” the moment they leave your mouth. I saw a quote in the streets recently that said:

“I hate how small my feelings sound once I say them out loud. Like they were heavy in my chest, but paper thin in air and suddenly I’m questioning myself wondering if I even deserve to be upset.”

That quote sat with me for a while because it explained something I struggle with. You know when you read something and you’re like yimi lo phela? Ehe. Nak’ya!

I know my feelings when they’re inside me. I can feel them in my chest. I can replay every moment, every tone change, every disappointment, every hurt. In my mind, it makes perfect sense why I’m upset. The feelings are real there. They are loud there. They take up space there.

But then comes the hardest part: saying them out loud. Haaaa weee mah!

My feelings suddenly feel clumsy. Incomplete. Too sensitive. Too emotional. Sucks even more when it’s with someone who doesn’t fight fair and is quick to dismiss how you feel only because it’s “small” to them. And midway through the whole plot is lost. That’s the exhausting part.

Here’s the thing, when you struggle to articulate your feelings, you don’t always get the resolution. You just learn how to carry things quietly. You “move on” without ever really feeling understood. You convince yourself you’re okay because explaining it properly feels impossible anyway.

In those moments, expressing your feelings can feel like walking into a battle already defeated.

Here’s one thing I’ve know though and makes me sleep better at night. It’s that, just because I cannot perfectly explain my feelings does not make them invalid.

Just because someone else doesn’t understand the depth of your hurt does not erase it.

And just because your emotions sound “small” in conversation doesn’t mean they felt small when you carried them alone.

Sometimes feelings are difficult to translate. Especially when they’ve lived inside your chest for too long. Especially when you’ve spent time second-guessing yourself.

But your feelings do not need a perfect presentation to deserve compassion.

If it hurt you, then it hurt you.

So maybe my conclusion is this, as long as I can feel it in my chest, then it matters. It may not seem reasonable to someone else. They may dismiss it. Minimize it. Misunderstand it completely. But not everybody has to validate your emotions for them to be real.

And if you resonate with this, if you’ve ever swallowed your feelings halfway through a sentence because suddenly they sounded “stupid” out loud… I hope we get better.

Love and light 🧡