The Libido, Hormones & Chaos

Disclaimer: This blog is strictly for the grown-ups. No under-18s, please. And if you’re a gent and our paths happen to cross after reading this, don’t even try me with this post. Ngizakutshela ngonyoko, respectfully, because I know how some of you can get. LIYADINA!

I think we have established how we learn our bodies as we grow older. In our early 20s we are nonchalant. We don’t know how our cycles go and we don’t listen to our bodies nor do we study them. As we progress into the late 20s, we are getting to that realisation that our bodies communicate and by the time we are 30? We know which side is ovulating that month, simply by listening to our bodies. 

I never used to know when I was ovulating. I would finish my days and just wait for the next time they rock up again. I didn’t experience ovulation pain then, I guess its something that came with child birth, basenza opikinini bakithi. 

It differs with months, some months there is no pain, just discharge galore. And some its there and its almost always the left side. 

But besides this ovulation revelation, there is something scary about ovulating in your 30s. Remember guys, this is a safe space!

The desire, the urge, the need is high bahlali. Its on another level! Ideally, that one week is the pits, it has you salivating but, here, by the 30s it is bad and if you’re not on contraceptive, udlala ngengozi my sister, you are playing with fire. Its death by snoo snoo. You’re out here climbing up the walls backwards and doing summersaults and walking with sore thighs like you ran ran uphill 15km dzeku Hermiles. You can be minding your own business at some ungodly hour of the night, when thieves are thriving, and suddenly… you too are thriving, ngithi akulalwa. IYKYK.

Shit is out of control that week. I look at the guy I share my home wifi with and the switch can just turn on. I could smell him and I am ready to go. During that week all he has to do is breathe and ziyakhala. I can just finish and I am ready to go again. Its giving rabbits…patati patata, apologies to Roki & Koffi Olomide.

The switch turns off just as fast. After that week of huffing and puffing, there is some effort required now. Remember bloody Mary is making her way and that changes everything, you are PMSing hard. I will never understand how hormones work to be honest. Akadiki ke uNono. 

One time, the guy I share my home Wi-Fi with casually pointed out that the “happy week” was clearly over because apparently the way I responded to something he said on our way home had already told him that he needed to crank it up a little bit… eyyy kodwa lam angizenzi. 

Anyway guys, be safe. I mean it.  And remember ‘pray & pull’ is not for the faint hearted. 

Love & light 🧡