So, there’s something called love languages. And according to Gary Chapman, there are five of them: words of affirmation, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, Quality time, and Physical touch. These love languages describe the way we feel loved and appreciated. And from that, this is how my love language is expressed.

Words of Affirmation

I think we both know how words of affirmation can go a long way in a relationship. Just a simple; “lovely” can do the trick. But do not be stingy with your words, go on to say what you liked, be it my fresh cut or my blog post or new mani, “nice, this colour looks great on you”. But its not always going to be nice. The nail polish I might have chosen may not look good on my skinny-long-yellow fingers or my blog post sucked…let me down gently, affirmation is critical and negative/insulting comments can be hurtful and not all of us can forgive and forget easily.

Acts of service

This is where the good ol’ saying, “actions speak louder than words” comes to play. I remember I used to say this statement a lot in primary school during arguments and I know I even used it in scenarios where it wasn’t relevant, but we move. This is expression through giving ME your TIME to do something for me, something I like.

Receiving gifts

I love receiving gifts, show me who doesn’t? And no, it doesn’t have to be big things. I was telling someone the other day that they could get me a mint, yes, an ice mint and I could get gooey about it; even for days. This is one way of telling me that you were thinking of me. In turn you’re making me feel loved and appreciated.  

Quality time

We are not an island, but time together; ALONE, won’t hurt. GIVE ME YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. Let’s just be us and we talk our home affairs, let’s face it; there are somethings that you want to talk about and can’t talk about them around people and there are some things that you want to do just the two of you, and no, I am not talking about snusnu though it is a part of it. But this is all about being present to each other.

Physical touch

I think this one is one of the expressions that top the list for me. Hold my hand, stroke my short hair (yes, it’s possible), put your hand over my shoulder, grab my likkle bum, kiss me…do something! Ungahlaleli’zandla please. May I also take this time to publicly declare that I will be one of the people to be arrested for over-the-top PDA (and don’t let your imagination run wild, I doubt it will be that extreme). Let’s be close both emotionally and physically. Yall should ask my son how many times a day I hug him…he probably thinks I am a depressed being or something.

Words of affirmation, Physical touch, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts in that order for me.